Slowly Losing My Mind
by SuicideSquadGirl13
Summary: I found this prompt on Tumblr from BlandMarvelHeadCanons that said"Doom has severe bi-polar disorder; And sometimes he'll purposely go off his medication to experience a manic episode so he can get creative ideas for his work."So i decided to write a story about it;Enjoy!Trigger Warning; Attempted Suicide, Depression and Manic Episode.(For My Good Fanfiction Friend Dark Rabbit)


**Ok, so I was looking through the Victor Von Doom tag on Tumblr and came across this prompt that said and I quote ****_'Doom has severe bi-polar disorder; And sometimes he'll purposely go off his medication to experience a manic episode so he can get creative ideas for his work.'_**

**So I decided to write about, with my own little twist here and there, so enjoy!**

*o*O*o*

Doom hated where he was right now, but he force himself to come. There is a couch for him to sit on, and a chair for the young woman sitting across from him. Farther away, there's a mahogany desk, chair on wheels- gives someone the option of sitting farther away, of not sitting on the couch, of rolling around a little. There's an area rug, 6' by 9' maybe, between them, no coffee table. A small wooden end table with drawers with an ornamental vase and fake flowery things (real plants would die here because of the lack of sunlight), pens and a prescription pad. A long sofa table holds a lamp and some decorative thingies, Doom can't bother to think about; A large file cabinet sits next to the couch in a corner, It's draped with a piece of fabric to make it look less like cold steel metal. A plant sits on top. There are some plants on the two windowsills and by the windows the ceiling does this weird uppy thing. The Young Woman likes the blinds drawn, the walls and carpet are light, the office is a bit under-furnished and a person described it as cavernous. There is a table next to the couch that holds a tissue box. A large double bookshelf holds mostly magazines, some books, and random objects. An ottoman sits next to her chair to collect stuff- mail, forms, a clipboard, whatever, and it has a lid that opens to throw clutter in. Aside from the pile next to the chair and some mess on the desk shelf, there is no clutter, she a pretty neat person. A closet with double doors holds a dorm-sized fridge, microwave shelf with samples, paper goods, supplies, Motrin for the occasional headache, a hammer, screwdriver, and light bulbs. The walls hold some random pictures and the obligate diplomas.

Doom then stops taking inventory of the things around him; He needs this, among other things; but for now he just stares at young woman across from him. He has known her for 8 years coming up now, he would call her a friend but she's more of a mentor for him. The clock on the wall ticks by another minute of their little session, and then she speaks….

"Victor, you haven't said anything for 10 minutes," She said "What's bothering you?"

Doom doesn't speaking, if he tells her what's bothering him he'll feel ashamed, but she'll figure it out anyway. In the meantime he takes in her appearance; strawberry blond hair in a ponytail today, ice blue eyes framed with glasses, pale pink lip painted with red lipstick, she's wearing a red blouse with a black pencil thin skirt, and her lab coat over it with her name over it '_Catharine Black'_.

"You can't stay silent for the entire session," Dr. Black says to him.

"Who says I was trying to?" Doom heard himself say.

"Fair enough," Dr. Black says leaning back in her chair "So is there anything you want to talk about?"

Doom stares at her for 2 more minutes before he says it "I went off my meds again."

Dr. Black doesn't say anything for some time before asking "Why?"

"Creatively brunt out," Doom said quickly.

Dr. Black then says "You say it as if it is a valid excuse to put yourself and others at risk."

"I know," Doom said giving her a look that wasn't a glare but on the verge of it "I nearly killed myself this time."

Dr. Black seemingly understands and says "Want to walk me though what happen this time?"

"Gladly," Doom deadpanned leaning back this time.

*o*O*o*

_Doom was in the Latveria Embassy alone tapping his pencil on this note pad, out of all the things that he could be doing he was writing a speech for an underground villain convention. Why did he even agree to be one of the main speakers? Doom for now was walking around reading book after book on great speeches and essay but came up short. When Doom looked at the time, he realized he only had 7 hours left till he had to leave, and he had to take his meds right about now. Doom opened the pill bottle and was about to take them but then stopped and looked at the blank note pad. He procrastinated for about 5 minutes before he put the pills back in the bottle. A few minutes later ideas came to his head and he was writing down things so fast he nearly broke the pencil in two, when his speech was done he typed it up and laminated it before get up and turning on some death metal music loudly and started dancing around laughing in the process. The next time he looked at the clock he only had 2 hours before Norman Osborne sent a car over to pick him up, he quick showered and dressed in a black cloak singing a heavy metal song the entire time before he turned it off and gather his things._

_The car had come right on time, and thankfully he was alone with the exception of the driver. When they got there Doom keep his composer till he got back stage, all he wanted to do was dance but resisted the urge until he heard his name being introduced on stage. Everybody clapped respectfully as he stored out on stage…_

**_"_****_Hello everyone_**_," Doom said grinning like a mad man behind his mask "__**Well, Norman asked me to give a speech and me being the arrogant prick I am I agreed."**_

_The audience laughed at the apparent joke and Doom started his speech…_

**_"_****_First off I'm going to start by saying you're all idiots,"_**_Doom said, at that everybody in the room looks at each other and Norman is face palming in the background._

**_"_****_You are all idiot of the mind_**_," Doom continued not stopping "__**Van Gogh, Edgar Allen Poe, Ernest Hemmingway; these people were brilliant mind, bullied and forced into mediocrity; because the world was afraid of what brilliance actually look like. True brilliance comes from the mind not the body; it takes sweat, dedication, hard work, and some blood to get what you want. In the end when you see the fruit of your labor, and come out victorious you'll be glad you weren't forced into mediocrity like those pathetic so called super heroes who have yet reach their full potential. We have no boundaries, no rules, and no codes we have to endure; granted we may struggle with our own morals, but in the end we are victorious….we are always victorious… because we don't bound ourselves by the laws of right and wrong. But we chose to define them to make the world a better place in our own image; and if they don't agree with it…well…they can just go to hell." **_

_After Doom was done he felt like he had just run a marathon, the entire room was silent for a moment, and even Norman's jaw hung open at what Doom just said. Then there was clapping in back and it slowly came over everybody in wave, Doom got a standing ovation for his words and Norman was standing by the side clapping awkwardly with a 'What the fuck just happen?' look on his face. Doom for his part stood their soaking it in, and he was glad he knew it wasn't a hallucination. Doom only stay for an hour to be congratulated on his speech, and he manage to somehow avoid Norman in the entire time frame; But Doom felt like a hallucination was coming on any moment. So he excused himself and was about to leave but Loki came with him as an excuse to leave too. When Doom hallucination starts he has his head out the window smiling under his mask at the breeze that hits him as they travel, and he hears the music his mind decided to concoct for him. It is of course, some random hard rock song; Doom doesn't care he starts laughing, Loki looks at him funny as if he'd lost his mind in the few minutes they had left the convention._

_When they reach the Latverian Embassy, his hyper sexuality has kicked in; Luck for him Loki doesn't seem to mind it, in fact Loki let him fuck him in every position he knows how. Loki being a god has lived for centuries on end, has probably had his fair share of lovers but things that spill from his mouth sound unnatural while Doom was on top of him. After the hyper sexuality wore of he was still up, Doom had a slight tendency to be an insomniac at times; Loki for his part was knocked out, Doom really did a number on him if he wore out a god. Then his hallucinations had started again, another death metal song played from his mind. Doom got out of bed and walked over to his balcony; he stood close to the edge of the railing as possible, he was about to fall if he hadn't slipped backwards and shock himself back to reality. It's takes a few minutes for Doom to gather his thoughts but he gets up and goes to his bathroom, and takes his meds with a few sleeping pills before going back to bed._

_The next morning Loki is gone, and Doom is glad. Doom then picks up his cell phone and dials a number and says __**"Hi I'd like to confirm my Tuesday appointment with Dr. Black….Yes…Is it possible we could extend the time to 2 hours…thank you…"**_

*o*O*o*

Dr. Black doesn't say anything when Doom is done, they just sit there in silence until Doom says "Go ahead, say it."

"Say what?" Dr. Black asks him.

"How stupid I was to go off my meds," Doom said "How I probably hurt my closest ally, how I practically insult half of the super villain community with my speech, how I nearly killed myself just so I could write a stupid speech I didn't even I want to give, so come on let me have it."

"You expect me to tell you how wrong you were," Dr. Black said "But you've already punished yourself; as you've just said."

Doom doesn't say anything so Dr. Black continues "Frankly I thought your speech was good, it's only an insult to those who don't know your mindset."

"I can hear a 'but' coming," Doom said almost bitterly.

"But there is difference between yourself and the artist along with the writers you named," Dr. Black said.

Doom looks at her slightly confused and said "How so?"

"Van Gogh cut off his ear and shot himself in field," Dr. Black said "Ernest Hemmingway, fell into a depression and shot himself; Edgar Allen Poe, people to this very day speculate about his death."

Doom tilted his head to one side but said nothing, and Dr. Black said "Victor I consider you to be an exceptional person in your own right, as well as all of the people I've just named; but the thing is you're still living, that's the only difference between you and the others; That when you need you ask yourself would you rather be exception or dead?"

Doom then said "Can I be exceptional dead?"

Dr. Black chuckled at his joke but said "I'm serious Victor, you compared it to being bullied into mediocrity; it's not being '_forced_' as you say it, it's called living long enough so people can appreciate your work."

Doom didn't say anything but nodded, and then Dr. Black said "Good, but now we have another problem on our hands."

Doom nodded again and said "Kristoff."

"Have you planned on telling your son that you went off your medication?" Dr. Black said.

"I'm still not entirely sure," Doom said.

"You told me you made him a promise," Dr. Black said.

"I know," Doom said "I promised him I wouldn't go off meds again and if I did I would tell him."

"Then why are you so conflicted," Dr. Black asked.

Doom looked at her and said "I haven't gone off my meds in 2 years, and then all of a sudden I just make one mistake; and I lose my son for good."

"Victor," Dr. Black said "Kristoff is 19, I'm sure he'll understand by now."

"And if he doesn't?" Doom deadpanned.

"Then…" Dr. Black said "I wouldn't know what to tell you."

"Helpful," Doom deadpanned again.

Dr. Black then looked at the time and said "Victor times almost up, but I will give you this piece of advice; Tell Kristoff immediately, don't delay it or else it will make him resent you; and that ally of yours… I think he likes you more than you know so I suggest confining in about your condition."

"Wait, are you suggestion I actually tell someone?" Doom said folding his arms across his chest.

Dr. Black nodded and said "It's better than to keep it a secret forever."

Doom nodded then said "It's always a pleasure talking to you Catharine."

Dr. Black stood up and said "To you as well."

*o*O*o*

Doom was standing in front of the Baxter Building procrastinating about wither he should tell Kristoff about his manic episode or not. In the end he forces himself to get it over with and walked inside; he just stood there as Reed Richards and Johnny Storm came to greet him…

"Hey Doomy long time no see," Johnny's ever so cocky self said.

"I don't have time for you Storm," Doom said bitterly.

"Aw," Johnny mockingly putting his hand over his heart "That hurts."

Doom is seriously regretting stepping foot in the building…

"Why are you here?" Reed said looking him up and down; most probably looking for a weapon.

"I'm here to see my son Richards," Doom said.

Reed raised an eyebrow and Johnny said "I knew he come back to brainwash the kid again."

Doom started glaring at Johnny and Reed said "Why? You've never come around like this before?"

"I need to tell him something," Doom said before glaring at Johnny and added "Privately."

"Uh no," Johnny said "Our house, our rules."

"Johnny," Reed said before looking back at Doom "I'll go tell him you're here."

Reed leaves to get Kristoff, and when he does come back Kristoff is smiling and said "Hello father, I wasn't expecting to hear from you today."

"I wanted to surprise you," Doom said.

Kristoff laughed and said "I'll be back."

"You have my number right?" Reed asked.

Kristoff tapped the side of his head, and said "Right in here, later."

As soon as Kristoff and Doom left the building, Doom felt like he can breathe again. Him and Kristoff get some coffee and sit by the Hudson; Kristoff is telling him animated tales of equation and science and Doom is content with just listening…

"So," Kristoff said "Why did you want to see me anyway?"

"Well, I have something important to tell you," Doom said setting his cup down "Remember how I promise you I'd never go off my medication again."

"Mmm, Yes," Kristoff said.

"Well, yesterday I had a badly case of writers block, and I made a very stupid decision," Doom said.

Kristoff was silent for a moment then he said "You didn't take them did you?"

"No," Doom said "I did some bad things."

"You didn't kill anybody did you?" Kristoff asked.

"No," Doom said looking him in the eye "But I came very close to kill myself."

"Dad," Kristoff said breathlessly "Is there anything else; you know…you might regret?"

"I sleep with Loki," Doom said.

Kristoff raised an eyebrow at that and said "You might regret it but, I'm pretty sure Loki doesn't."

"Why does everybody keep saying that?" Doom asked.

"Because it's no secret that he likes you," Kristoff sipping his coffee.

"Ok, how am I the last person to know this?" Doom said.

Kristoff shrugged and said "Are you going to talk to him?"

"I don't really have a choice," Doom said getting up.

Kristoff stood up and said "It was nice seeing you father, and thanks for tell me about…you know."

"Thanks for not getting mad," Doom said.

The two went their separate ways; Doom was heading for Loki's and Kristoff going to the Baxter Building. The pair was completely unaware Susan had been following them; she was invisible but keeps her distance just in case. Susan had only gotten bits and pieces of the conversation, but she did hear Doom talking about hurting someone maybe even kill them. Susan was supposed to follow Kristoff back to the Baxter Building but instead she followed Doom who had to make a pit stop to the pharmacy before he headed over to Loki's. Susan followed as close as she could and tried to listen in…

"Hi, I'm here to pick up my prescription," Doom said hand the person behind the counter.

"Oh yes, one second," she said going into the back.

Doom idly started playing on his phone, when the woman behind the counter came back with Doom needed he thanked her and nearly bumped into Susan on the way out. Susan then went back to the building where Reed had failed to get a word out of Kristoff about what he and his father were talking about.

"Did you get anything?" Reed asked his wife.

"Only bits and pieces," Susan said "But I definitely heard something about Doom killing someone."

"If it was on American soil, he broke the law and we can revoke his diplomatic immunity," Reed said.

"But we need proof Reed," Susan said.

Reed sighed knowing she was right, before asking "Was there anything else?"

"He stopped by a pharmacy;" Susan said "He was picking up a prescription for himself."

"Did you see what kind?" Reed asked.

"No," Susan said "You think he's dying or something?"

"Maybe," Reed said "That would explain the need to kill someone."

"So what do we do now?" Susan said.

"We wait until Victor makes his next move," Reed tells her before going into his lab.

*o*O*o*

Doom was talking to Loki, having a pleasant conversation about magic before Loki asked "Victor, I know you didn't just come here to talk, what's going on?"

Doom had been putting the conversation off for some time said "Remember last night when we uh…"

"Had the most amazing sex I've ever had in centuries," Loki said "Yes, what about it."

Doom was taken back for a moment, before continuing "Well, I wasn't myself…"

"Well, of course you weren't," Loki said "I mean were you high or something?"

"Somewhat," Doom said to him "I was having a manic episode."

Loki's brows furrowed and he asked "What is that?"

"Well, I have what we mortals call a mental disorder," Doom said.

Loki's expression changed from amused to worry and he asked "You're sick? Are you dying?"

"Yes and No," Doom said "Yes I'm sick and it could kill me but it won't."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Loki said "How it could kill you?"

"Well, if I go off my medication my mind won't be right," Doom said "And I might accidently kill myself."

"Oh Victor," Loki said taking his hand "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You know I have a hard time trusting people," Doom said squeezing Loki's hand.

"Wait," Loki said shaking his head "What type of mental sickness do you have?"

"It's called Bi-polar disorder," Doom said "I've had it all my life but the symptoms didn't show up until about 8 years ago."

"8 years ago?" Loki said "You've known for 8 years and never had a manic episode since?"

"Actually…" Doom said rubbing the back of his neck.

"What?" Loki asked.

"I have a history of non-compliance with my condition," Doom said.

"Non-compliance…?" Loki said.

Doom knew Loki understood what he meant, but Loki was piece together something but Doom could figure out what.

"You'll go off your medication on purpose for absolutely no reason," Loki said.

"Sometimes," Doom said "And if you don't see me for a day or two, I probably had an episode that lead to some form of depression."

Loki was quiet for a few more moments and then said "So what types of medicine do you take?"

"I actually have the pill bottles with me now," Doom said showing Loki a paper bag he had brought with him.

Loki watched as Doom took out 5 different pill bottles and started to explain what they did…

"Ok, so this is lithium," Doom said "It's a mood stabilizer so I don't feel the need to commit suicide or have a manic episode."

"Alright," Loki said.

Doom pick and other bottle and said "This is Depakote, it's an anticonvulsant that I use in case the lithium backfires, I also use it to control the uh…hyper…sexuality, I experience with you."

"You're joking right," Loki said taking the pill bottle from him.

"No, I'm not," Doom said.

"If that cause me to orgasm more than once, you're going stop taking this," Loki said pretending to throw the bottle over his shoulder.

"No," Doom said taking the bottle back "I need it."

Loki pouted and said "Fine, what does the next one do?"

"This is Risperdal," Doom said "It's antipsychotic, it controls my impulses for reckless behavior and my musical hallucinations."

"Musical hallucinations?" Loki said.

"Yeah, I'll randomly hear a song in my head even if the room is dead silent," Doom said "It's mostly death metal or hard rocks song, on occasion I'll hear piano playing."

"Wait," Loki said "Last night in the limo, where you having one?"

"Yeah," Doom said "Some random metal song came on in my head."

Loki nodded so Doom continued…

"Um... this is Valium," Doom said "I have in case of an emergency, for my anxiety and to help me with my sleeping patterns."

"Sleep patterns?" Loki said.

"Yeah, because of my disorder I somewhat have insomnia," Doom explained "This knocks out 2 for the price of one."

Loki chuckled at the bad joke then said "What about the last one?"

"It's just some sleeping pills in case the Valium doesn't do its job," Doom said.

Loki smiled a bit and said "Thanks for telling me this; at least you won't have to fend for yourself all the time."

Doom just nods and said "Thanks for listening."

Loki smiled at him as he left. As soon as Doom got back in the Latveria Embassy he got himself a glass of water and took his medication. Before grabbing his laptop and started working on a new generation of Doombot.

*o*O*o*

It had been a week and not a sign of Doom, Reed was beginning to get agitated because he was waiting for Doom to make his next move. Susan for her part was one step ahead of Reed, and watched the Embassy like a hawk until the Doctor left. When he did Reed tracked him down to a brownstone 20 minutes later; Susan had then left with Johnny to see what the Doctor was up to, by the time they got there Doom was leaving; Susan keep her and Johnny out of sight as Doom got in his car and left, luckily he didn't see the two…

"Great he's gone," Johnny said "Now what?"

"Well, we could go and check out what's inside that brownstone he just came out of," Susan said.

Lucky for them Susan was dressed regularly so she looked like a regular civilian when she walked in, while Johnny stayed outside. Susan was just walking forward when a woman said "I'm sorry ma'am do you have an appointment with Dr. Black?"

"I'm sorry," Susan said to the woman behind a desk.

"Are you here to see Dr. Black?" She asked again.

"Um…no…" Susan said "Who is Dr. Black?"

"She's a psychiatrist," the woman said.

"Oh, well I'm sorry to intrude then," Susan said speed walking out of there.

"Hey," Johnny said as soon as his sister came out "What happen in there?"

"Victor has a psychiatrist," Susan said spaced out and continued walking with Johnny at her heel asking questions.

*o*O*o*

"What do you mean Victor has a psychiatrist?" Reed asked incredulously.

"As in old bucket head is seeing a shrink," Ben said.

Reed started pacing around the room; Susan was still in shock from what she had found out…

"Why would Doomy even need shrink," Johnny asked "It's not he has problems...right?"

At that moment Kristoff chose to come into the room and said "Hey Reed I was doing some equations and something doesn't look right can you check it out for me?"

Reed looked up at Kristoff and said "Kristoff why does your dad see a psychiatrist?"

Kristoff blink and said "Huh?"

"Why does your dad see a shrink?" Johnny said.

"My dad has a psychiatrist?" Kristoff asked "When did this happen?"

"Never mind," Susan said giving Reed a dirty look and said "Just go back to what you were doing."

Kristoff leaves the room very confused, and Reed says "Ok, pull up the security footage of where Kristoff is now."

"Why?" Johnny asked.

"Because his reaction was genuine," Reed said pulling up the footage of where Kristoff was now.

Kristoff was in his room dialing his father over the phone, and it took only 3 rings before Doom picked up…

"Kristoff, did you need something?" Doom said.

"Why didn't you tell me you were seeing a psychiatrist?" Kristoff said immediately.

"What?" Doom said sounding surprised.

"You heard me," Kristoff said "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it wasn't for you to know," Doom said.

"I get it," Kristoff said "But does it help you?"

"It does Kris," Doom said "I'm still curious on how you found out?"

"Reed asked me," Kristoff said.

"I'm sorry, what?" Doom said.

"Yeah Reed asked why you saw a psychiatrist," Kristoff said "I didn't know what he was talking about, so that's why I called you."

"Kristoff…do me a favor," Doom said "Hang up right now."

"What why?" Kristoff asked confused.

But Doom didn't answer he hung up, and Kristoff looked down at his phone before he put two and two together and stormed upstairs to where Reed was and said "Why were you following my father?"

"Kristoff we…" Reed started but was cut off but Kristoff who had keep talking "Why did you have Susan follow us? Why were you listening to my phone conversation? Do you not trust me?"

"I trust you," Reed said "We all do but…"

"Then what is it?" Kristoff said annoyed "Because out of all the ridiculous things I have had to put up with this takes the cake…"

"We trust you, but I don't trust your father!" Reed blurted out.

Kristoff was silent and said "What?"

"I know you and Victor are close, but I still don't trust your father even after what his done," Reed said.

Kristoff just stay stocky still before saying "Maybe instead of following him you should ask him what going on."

Then Kristoff walked off leaving a shell shocked Reed.

*o*O*o*

After a while Reed listen to what Kristoff had to say and went to the Latveria Embassy to try and talk to Doom. When he got there he knocked loudly and he heard a something crash from inside and heard Doom said "I'm coming, I'm coming…geez…"

When Doom opened the door his eyes narrowed and Reed said "Look I came to apologize for everything, and if you just give me a chance, I'm hoping we can get pass this."

Doom was still glaring at him but nodded his head for Reed to come inside; Reed accepted the invitation and followed Doom into his kitchen, Reed noticed a broken piece of glass on the floor and Doom said "I'll get that later, you sit."

Reed sat at the counter, and Doom was pouring himself scotch in a wine glass…

"Is that really necessary Victor?" Reed asked.

"To deal with you today, yes," Doom said leaning on the counter behind him taking a sip.

Reed resisted the urge to roll his eye and said "I'm sorry for having Susan follow you, but I thought you were up to something when you need to talk to Kristoff so I had her follow you."

"And let me guess, Susan only heard _'Hurt'_ and _'Kill'_ right?" Doom asked.

"Yes," Reed said.

"Plus, she saw me go pick up some mysterious medicine from the pharmacy," Doom said starting to walk around "Now I'm assuming you thought I was sick, maybe even dying; that would explain the need to kill someone, right?"

Reed nodded and Doom continued "But the problem is you don't have proof that I killed anybody, so you wait for me to conveniently to leave the embassy again, but your stumped when I go and see my psychiatrist."

"Victor, I didn't mean to pry," Reed said "We all keep things we don't want other people to know hidden."

"Hmm, well I was doing a great job of that until you waltzed into Dr. Black's office," Doom said.

"I just wanted answer and I got them the wrong way," Reed admitted "That's why I'm asking you now, what's going on?"

Doom didn't say anything but grabs a basket from a cubby hole behind him and dumped the contents on the counter. Reed watched as a bunch of empty pill bottles rolled on the counter and said "You've got quite the medicine cabinet."

Doom didn't say anything, so Reed picked up a few bottles and said "So are you a recovery drug addict?"

Doom scoffed and said "I wish, read the labels."

Reed started to read the labels and said "Lithium…uh…Depakote?" Reed looked at Doom and said "This is an anticonvulsant."

"I know," Doom said giving him a deadpan expression "Keep going."

Reed kept reading "Ok, let's see…Risperdal…what the hell?"

"Surprised much?" Doom said.

Reed looked at him incredulously and said "Victor, this is an antipsychotic, why are you taking an antipsychotic?"

Doom said to him "Why do you think?"

"Victor, all that's left is some sleeping pills and some Valium," Reed said sorting through the rest of the bottles.

Doom didn't say anything, he just waited for Reed to try and piece it together. When Reed did final figure it out he said "Wait, your…Bi-polar?"

Doom raised an eyebrow under his mask and said "You say it as if it's a question, not a statement."

Reed shook his head and said "But that's impossible…you can't be…"

"But I am Richards," Doom said.

"How long have you known?" Reed asked him.

"8 years coming now," Doom said "I've had symptoms since I was 17, but apparently I was so good at managing my symptoms without medication for years that I didn't notice till later in my life."

"How did you find out?" Reed asked.

"9 years ago I fell into a manic depressive state for about 3 months," Doom said "The thing was I had felt fine the days before, and it was normal for me not to do anything for a day or two, but I stopped getting out of bed, all I wanted to do was sleep and I eventually stopped eating; Boris of course notice something was wrong and call my physician, who ended up recommending Dr. Black who diagnosed me; and I've been seeing her ever since."

"So you've better?" Reed asked.

Doom cocked his head back and forth and said "Somewhat."

"What does that mean?" Reed said.

"I have a history of…Non-compliance when it comes to my medicine," Doom said.

"Non-compliance….." Reed started but trailed off before saying "How many times have you gone off your medication? Once? Twice?"

"More like 27," Doom said "And counting the episode I had 3 days ago, make it 28."

"28…Jesus, Victor." Reed said before adding "So what's the deal with Kristoff, did he not know?"

"No, he's always known," Doom said "But I made sure he never saw me when I had a manic episode; it backfire."

"How so?" Reed asked.

"I was having a very bad manic episode and I thought it was good idea to take enough morphine to sedate Grimm," Doom said "Kristoff found me on the verge of dying, and pumped naloxone into my system; and he made sure I didn't fall asleep all night to make sure the morphine was out of my system; he was only 13."

"Oh," Reed said.

"When I was more aware of my actions, he made me promise him not to go off my meds ever again and if I did I'd have to tell him," Doom said.

"That's what you need to talk to Kristoff about," Reed said "You were keeping your promise."

"Exactly," Doom said "You need to understand Richards, I can barely take care of myself; I don't need Kristoff to watch me hurt myself more than I already have, so when to offered for him to live with you; I urged him to take and told him I was going to be fine."

"But you're not fine," Reed said.

"And I will never be fine," Doom said "All I can do is manage it to the best of my abilities and hope I don't kill myself in the end."

Reed nodded and said "Well, thank you for…enlightening me and also I won't tell anybody."

"I'd appreciate that," Doom said.

*o*O*o*

"So how are you feeling today," Dr. Black asked.

"Strangely…better than I have in long time," Doom admitted.

Dr. Black raised an eyebrow and said "How so?"

"Want me to use a metaphor?" Doom said.

"If it makes you feel comfortable," Dr. Black said.

"It's like weighs have been lifted off my chest and I can breathe again," Doom said.

"Metaphors don't use like or as," Dr. Black said.

"But you get the gist of it," Doom said.

Dr. Black smirked and said "So I understand you told not only your ally about you condition, but Reed Richards?"

"He was digging for answers," Doom said "I thought I might give it to him."

Dr. Black raised an eyebrow and said "And you're counting on his discretion?"

"Richards is man of his word," Doom said "As much as I hate to admit it, he won't tell anybody."

"Well, I think we can wrap up this session early," Dr. Black said "Also, before I forget I got you something."

Dr. Black handed Doom a black box with a green bow on top; Doom looked at her and she said "Happy 8 year anniversary."

Doom chuckled and shook his head before he open the box and took out a crystal cube with a sculpture of a brain in the middle with the engraving '_The Black Box'_ on the bottom.

"Clever," Doom said.

"Well, the mind is ultimate mystery we have yet to conquer," Dr. Black said "Why do think neurologist call it the black box?"

"Because they wanted a fancy name for it," Doom said pulling out a flat rectangular box and handing to Dr. Black.

Dr. Black opened it and found a book and a photo set with the quote '**_Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery that we are trying to solve.'_**

"Max Planck," Dr. Black said.

"I remember you told me once he was your favorite scientist," Doom said "So I tracked down a copy of _Religion and Natural Science_ for your collection."

Dr. Black smiled at him and said "Thank you, so same time next week."

"What do you think?" Doom said leaving.

*o*O*o*

**THE END! This took me nearly a whole week to write, I just hope it was worth it. Review Please.**

**Luv,**

**SuicideSquadGirl13**


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